Kids and divorced parents dating
The fact is, kids don’t really want to meet all those new partners, even if they say they do.Wait instead until the relationship is getting serious.
Parents who get into these relationships may have very different expectations for how things should be than the men and women who they’re bringing home.As far as entering new romantic relationships when you’re a parent, there seem to be two competing ideas about how to handle telling the kids.Many parents prefer not to tell their children about their new relationship until it becomes more serious, usually after a few months.But for those who do, and feel connected, a few visits, birthday cards, and texts could make the transition a lot smoother for everyone involved.The Next Relationship And what about the next relationship?Most of the evidence suggests doing otherwise, especially if the child is over the age of 6.
There’s no firm rules here, and a lot will depend on the reasons for the original family breakdown, and if there have been other stepparents in the child’s life.
Telling kids about a new romantic partner doesn’t guarantee that kids aren’t going to be resentful either. Like Hadfield, I’d be inclined to suggest that despite the risks, parents shouldn’t talk with their kids about every date they go on.
Being dumped with a babysitter rather than snuggling up to watch Friday night movies with mom can make kids blame the new love interest for robbing them of their parent’s attention. Online dating has made it easier to meet people, but that doesn’t mean kids should be subjected to the instability that an active dating life brings with it.
The problem, of course, is what to do after the relationship breaks up?
While most parents tend to cut off ties with their former lovers, it’s seldom that simple for the kids.
Second, parents expected a new romantic partner to help firm up the hierarchy in the family, putting the children back in their place and mom or dad back to being less of a child’s friend and more a parent with rules and expectations.